Chapter Eight

This chapter starts out by talking about how Josh gets flown to the Betty Ford Center for drug rehab. He was very nervous and did not know what to expect once he got there. He did not associate himself with the word addict because he had only done the drug about seven or eight times. The first part of his rehab was to be interviewed by a therapist. He did not like it when the therapist used the word addict, and Josh immediately said that he was not an addict. He did not like the way the therapist was patronizing him and Josh called him an idiot. He did not cooperate at all in group sessions.

The sports psychologist determined that he was an addict and that his parents were a big part of his problem. Josh disagreed with this because he did not think he was an addict or that his parents caused it. All of this really angered Josh, so he no longer spoke to his roommate, and he tried to hide his emotions from everyone. He really did not want to be there, but he wanted to get healthy again and get back on the baseball field. On the eighth day of treatment, Josh decided he couldn't take anymore, so he decided to pack his stuff and leave. He called a cab to take him to a hotel, and then he called his dad to come and pick him up.

Once he returned from the rehab center, Josh came to spring training and the Devil Rays sent him to Class A Bakersfield in the California League. This was his third straight year in Class A ball. He knew for being the number-one pick in the draft, he should be farther along than this. All signs pointed that Josh could still play when he hit a towering 549 foot home run.

However, his problems started again when he used drugs for the first time during a season. One night, Josh stopped at a bar for a couple of drinks and instead he got very drunk. In his drunkenness, he asked the bartender where he could find some cocaine. He did cocaine with the bartender and got no sleep that night. The next night he had a game, and he was worried that any physical exertion might increase his already sky high heart rate. He prayed that if he lived through this game, he would never do drugs again. However, the next day, he needed one or two more lines just to make it through the day.

Josh's 2002 season ended with the Devil Rays just after fifty-six games because of bone chips in his elbow. He went home for awhile and started hanging out with a guy named Wayne. Josh went to school with him, but they were never friends because Wayne was into drugs even in high school. The Devil Rays later sent Josh to play with their Triple A team the Durham Bulls. He dressed every game, but never played. One day before a game, Josh was given a urine test. A couple of days later, he was called into the manager's office and was told that he had failed his drug test. Josh was suspended for fifteen games. It didn't take long for him to get even more involved in drugs. Often times, Josh would send Wayne to go buy some cocaine so that he didn't feel as bad since it wasn't him buying the drugs. Josh's life was getting worse with each day.