Chapter Eleven

This chapter tells how Josh and his old girlfriend Katie Chadwick decide to get back together and get married. Katie and her daughter Julie made Josh happy and kept him out of drugs for awhile. Josh and Katie were married November 10, 2004, and by December, Katie was pregnant. They bought a house in Fuquay-Varina not far from where Josh grew up.

Josh believed that after his suspension from baseball, he would still be able to play. However, in January, about a month after they learned about their expected child, it all went downhill for Josh. He relapsed and started drinking and using cocaine again. Also for the first time, drugs became a financial problem for Josh, and eventually he was on track to lose every cent of his money. Money became such a problem that on one day Josh sold Katie's wedding ring to a drug dealer. When Katie found out about the ring, she drove to meet with the dealer, and demanded it back so the dealer agreed. On August 22, 2005, Josh's daughter Sierra Hamilton was born.

Even with the new baby the problems still continued. On some days, Josh would go to pick up a can of dip and not come back for three days. He would go to a bar and get drunk and then do some cocaine. Katie would be very angry but would go to bring him home. She could not understand why her husband would want a life like this. On many occasions, Josh would overdose on cocaine and would have to make a trip to the emergency room. Many times he was in such bad shape, he felt like he might really die. However, because of his incredibly strong body, he didn't die. He said it was just by the grace of God that he didn't die.

Josh really missed Katie, Julie, and Sierra, but the drugs were taking over his life and he couldn't do anything to stop it. One night at a bar, Josh met a guy and his girlfriend, and he asked them if they knew where he could find some cocaine. Instead, they told him where they could take him to score some crack. Josh agreed to go, and they drove far away from town and were met by three black men named Murd, Leon, and Lester. Josh tried the crack, and in that instant, his life changed. He loved it even more than he liked cocaine.

At this point, money was becoming a major problem and Katie had to do something to stop it. Things were going terrible for Josh, and he even stopped eating. Katie tried to do anything she could to save their relationship, but nothing worked. Steve Reed, one of Josh's business managers and his dad agreed that his dad would try to keep control of Josh's finances. He became desperate to get a hold of money to buy more drugs. Josh's life continued to fall apart.