Chapter Twenty-One

In chapter twenty-one, Josh talks about his very first Major League All-Star Game. In 2o08, the All-Star Game was held at the legendary Yankee Stadium which was the last year the long cherished stadium would be used before it would be replaced by the New Yankee Stadium. This was a very exciting game for Josh and everyone else in it.

A couple weeks before the game, Josh got a call from a Major League Baseball representative asking him if he would like to participate in the Home Run Derby a day before the game. With no hesitation, Josh told him yes. One of the first things that he did after that was to call Clay Council, the old coach from Cary American Legion. When Josh was a kid, he promised Clay that if he ever were in the Home Run Derby, he would want him to pitch to him. Josh called Clay and asked him if he would pitch to him and Clay agreed. Even though Clay was seventy-one years old, he could still throw.

Clay flew down to New York on the same flight as Katie and the girls, and they even had a uniform for Clay when he arrived. In the tunnel before the derby, Josh and Clay said a prayer as they heard the rumble of the crowd above them. As soon as Josh stepped into the batter's box, the crowd was very loud. When he started hitting, almost everyone was a home run. By the end of the first round, he had twenty-eight homers which was a record for the most home runs in a single round. This was four more than the previous record held by Bobby Abreu.

When Josh was done, the fans were going crazy and wanted more. He could see the happiness on Katie's, the girls', his parents', and Katie's parents' faces. He could feel the pressure hitting in front of thousands of people in the stands, the best baseball players on the planet and millions of people watching on TV, but he tried to not let it get to him. In the finals, Josh went up against Twins first basemen, Justin Morneau, and Morneau beat him 5-3. It did not matter that Josh had hit more total homers than Morneau because in the finals, all home runs in the previous rounds were erased. However, it did not matter to Josh that he had lost because he had a great time.

From this point, Josh's life continues to get better. He still plays baseball for the Rangers. He is happily married to Katie, and they both serve God. Josh stressed at the end of the book that he still has to depend on God and his family and friends to battle his addictions. He openly shares his testimony with young people and those battling addictions like himself.

Chapter Twenty

Chapter twenty talks about how the whole Major League baseball experience increased Josh's relationship with Jesus Christ. He gave all the credit to Jesus of how he made it back into baseball. He says that if it weren't for God sparing him and helping turn his life around, he would not be here today to tell this story to people.

In May 2007, when Josh was still playing for the Reds, he had a special encounter. While signing autographs after the game, there was a boy about ten years old standing there waiting. The boy told him that Josh was his savior. Josh looked up from signing and asked the boy if he knew who was Josh's savior. The boy looked up after thinking for a moment and yelled Jesus Christ. Josh told him that he was exactly right and slapped him five.

This experience with the boy struck Josh and Katie as a very heartfelt moment. Something about that moment made them think about something deeper at work inside that boy. In fact, the story inspired Josh so much that he told it for a story in ESPN The Magazine. Not long after this, Josh received a letter from the boy's aunt. She told a little about the boy's story. The letter said that the boy's father was an alcoholic that continually tried to get sober and time after time failed. The boy and his father were big Reds' fans and the boy had heard about Josh's story. The boy told his father that if Josh could stay sober, then he could do it too. The boy's father agreed, so he continued to try to get clean and to that point had an impressive stretch of sobriety. After Josh read the letter, he handed it to Katie to let her read it. Without saying anything, they were thinking the exact same thing that all of this was much more than baseball.

Chapter Nineteen

This chapter discusses how Josh's Major League career started to become even brighter. He still was drug tested three times a week just to make sure he didn't turn back. He didn't mind being tested so frequently because it showed everyone he had nothing to hide, and that he was being true to himself. Josh had to be especially careful because one more failed drug test would result in a lifetime ban from professional baseball. Josh got so he thought very little about using drugs.

By the end of Josh's rookie year, he finished with a batting average of .292, nineteen home runs, and forty-seven runs batted in. This a pretty good season for a rookie especially considering his long layoff from baseball. The Reds still finished with a disappointing record of 72-90. Also, out of the 162-game season, Josh only played ninety games because of so many injuries.

During the off season, there were trade rumors to try to improve the Reds' pitching staff that included Josh's name. The Reds saw some pitchers from the Rangers that they liked and settled on them. The Rangers were interested because they were in need of a center fielder and Josh fit that category. On December 21, 2007, Josh got word that the Reds had traded him to the Rangers for minor league pitchers Edinson Volquez and Danny Herrera. Immediately, this trade changed Josh's whole Major League career.

He became really good friends with teammates Ian Kinsler, Michael Young, Hank Black, and Milton Bradley. He hung out with them all the time and really had a lot of fun with all of them. At that point, the Rangers didn't have a very good pitching staff, but they did have one of the best offenses in all of baseball. Josh was having a good season at the All-Star break, and he was leading the league in RBI(Runs Batted In). He made his very first All-Star game along with fellow teammates Ian Kinsler, Michael Young, and Milton Bradley. Not only did he make the team, but he was also the leading vote-getter among all American League outfielders by passing Manny Ramirez of the Boston Red Sex. At this point in his career, Josh knew that this was exactly where he was supposed to be in his life.

Chapter Eighteen

In chapter eighteen, it talks about how Josh's first Major League baseball season continued. Johnny Narron the who was hired as a video coordinator for the Reds to look over Josh was given Josh's meal money to watch over it. Johnny often traveled places with Josh like eating together and doing devotionals together. Like most rookies, Josh was asked to do specific things for the other guys on the team like carrying beer on road trips. However, he did not feel that it would be a good idea for his sobriety to be carrying alcohol. He told his teammates of his problem, and they did not ask him to do this anymore.

Josh wanted to be one of the guys, but wanted to stay away from things like alcohol just to be safe. He would occasionally have problems with fans shouting bad things like Josh smokes crack, so he tried to ignore it. He believed that the people that did things like this had either been through the same thing or knew someone that had experiences these same issues. He believed they were jealous that he overcame his problems.

Josh's first career Major League hit was a home run against Edgar Gonzalez of the Arizona Diamondbacks on the Reds' first road trip. There were many times when Josh was sick from where drugs had badly damaged his immune system. Even the slightest of colds bothered him. Many times after games, people would come up to Josh who had or knew someone who had problems with drugs and would ask for advice on how to get through all of it. He would also have players from other teams come up to him and tell him that they had heard his story and were rooting for him. He always appreciated what they had to say. Josh's Major League career looked as if it could be a start to something good.

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter seventeen discusses how Josh continued to try to fit into the Reds' organization. He started to feel like a part of the team. His teammates excepted him even with all the problems he had experienced in his life. However, he still felt nervous and a little overwhelmed when he saw veterans like Ken Griffey Jr. around him.

The Reds decided that Josh would play spring training baseball to get him as many at bats as possible before the season. He looked pretty good in spring training. It looked as if he would be able to play at a pretty good level his rookie season. After spring training and the beginning of the season, Josh made the team as the fourth outfielder and would have an opportunity to pinch hit, play center field, and some right field.

One day when Josh was signing autographs, he heard a familiar voice and saw something that startled him. When he looked up, he saw Kevin from the tattoo shop. This was the man who introduced him to drugs. Kevin said hi to Josh and asked him how he was doing. Josh still had some hard feelings for Kevin, but he knew that he was the one who made the decision to use drugs, therefore, it was his fault. Opening day finally came against the Cubs and Josh was very nervous and got little sleep the night before the game. His whole family was there watching and cheering for him. He had made it back not only into professional baseball, but also into the Major Leagues.

Chapter Sixteen

In chapter sixteen, it talks about how Josh continued to make his way back to baseball after his reinstatement. He was informed that he had been picked up by the Chicago Cubs, and then was traded to the Cincinnati Reds. The Devil Rays did not commit very much, so it made it very easy for the Cubs to get Josh. The Cubs knew that the Reds wanted him so they traded him. The Reds were confident that Josh would be able to do some good things for them. Josh believed that this was all from God.

Katie was also very happy for Josh in this situation and was excited to finally get to see him play. Katie always told Josh that someday he would go back to playing baseball, and she was right. He started to get help from a man named Johnny Narron who knew Josh's family and watched him play baseball as a kid. Johnny helped Josh by managing his money for him. Johnny was hired as a video coordinator so that he could be closer to Josh. Josh also made another very important decision when he and Julia, his stepdaughter, were baptised. It was something that impacted Josh's life even more and increased his relationship with God. Also, his baseball career was finally coming back together.

Chapter Fifteen

This chapter is about how Josh continues his quest in not only trying to get sober from his drug use, but also trying to make his way back into professional baseball. He started going to a psychiatrist at Duke University named Dr. Keith Brodie. Brodie understood the mind of an addict and that really helped Josh out a lot. During these sessions, Josh really started to believe that he could play professional baseball again. Not long after that, he was invited to a Christian baseball facility called Winning Inning. The facility was an old Phillies's spring training site called Jack Russel Stadium.

Josh and Katie believed that this would be a good opportunity for Josh, so they moved to Clearwater. However, to earn time in the batting cage, Josh would have do things like mop floors and rake the field. The people at the facility kept an eye on him, but for the most part, he had some freedom. One of the things Josh really liked about the facility was the after-school camps for the kids in the area. He bonded with a young talented black boy named Julius who had a pretty tough life. Julius really looked up to Josh, so he tried to teach Julius about his mistakes and to stay away from that road. He told Julius that two good ways to stay out of trouble were God and baseball.

Chapter Fourteeen

Chapter fourteen talks about how Josh continued to progress in his battle with trying to stop using drugs. His grandmother talked about how much she missed watching him play baseball, and that someday, he would play again. Josh did not believe that he would ever play baseball again because of being away from the game for so long and because of what the harmful drugs had done to his body. He missed baseball, and thought about it all the time, but didn't think it was an option anymore.

Josh also really missed Katie, Julia, and his little baby Sierra. As Christmas came, he bought all three of them gifts, and met up with them to give them the gifts. He also started to work out again to get his body back up to what it used to be before the drugs. Katie was also having problems at the time. She was trying to get over some of the anger she still had towards Josh, and she needed help. She asked their pastor, Jimmy Carroll, and his wife to help her. Jimmy told Katie that God wanted her to forgive Josh completely for everything he had done. One night while talking to the Carrolls, Katie called Josh. She told him that she forgave him for everything he had done. After Katie was done talking, Josh told her thank you and hung up the phone. Piece by piece Josh's life was finally starting to come back together.

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 13 talks about how everyone had given up on helping Josh with his addiction, so he decided to turn to his grandmother. Everyone else had given up because they believed Josh was a hopeless cause including his parents. However, Josh's grandmother believed it was not too late to help him. She believed that she could get Josh back to what he used to be before drugs.

Katie had given up on Josh and decided to leave him. She got a restraining order against him and decided to sell their house without worrying about him. Josh went to stay with his grandmother, but he had not seen her in two or three months. When he showed up at her house, she didn't even know he was coming to stay with her. He was a mess so his grandmother suggested that he come get something to eat and take a shower. Josh went to bed, and his grandma sat on her bed and cried until she fell asleep.

His grandmother had a set of rules for Josh if he was going to stay with her. First of all, he was not allowed to go more than twelve hours without something to eat and drink. Also, he would not be allowed to sleep past ten-thirty in the morning and would have to go to bed before it got too late at night. Josh began to feel to better and thought he would be able to stop using drugs. He felt comfortable at his grandmother's house, and it made him feel good. However after three good days, Josh went out and bought more crack and brought it back to his grandmother's house. When he got back, his grandma caught him smoking it, and he felt terrible. The addiction of the drug was more powerful than the guilt he felt, so he continued to use drugs. One morning when Josh finally came out of his room, his grandma stopped him dead in his tracks. She told him that she couldn't stand to watch him kill himself anymore, and if he planned on using drugs, she would kick him out of the her house.

All of this made Josh think, and finally he decided that he was going to make a honest effort to turn his life in the right direction. He understood that he was was hurting people that he loved and didn't want to do it anymore. He realized that he wouldn't be able to this by himself, so he prayed and asked God for his help. He knew all the pain he had caused everyone and really wanted to change. He also realized that he would need his grandmother's help if he was going to recover from all of this. His grandmother stood beside him and supported him. It took a lot of resistance and strength to stop using drugs. He would have nightmares of the devil trying to persuade Josh to use drugs. However, no matter how large the cravings were, he would somehow resist the temptation. Now step by step, Josh continued to progress and get back to his old self.

Chapter Twelve

Chapter twelve discusses how Josh continued to let crack ruin his life. He also continued to hang out with all the people at the wrong places. He also experimented with other drugs such as Klonopin with some of his drug using friends. Many of his episodes really upset Katie and she prayed that this all would end.

Josh continued to live a meaningless life with no place where he felt comfortable. He would spend many nights at his drug suppliers trailer getting high with no sleep at all. His suppliers Merd, Leon, and Lester would teach Josh new things about drugs every time they met. He had stopped caring about his family. However, he prayed to God everyday that he could change and get better. Money also continued to become more of a problem, and so he had to use other things to barter for drugs. As much as Josh wanted to change, there was nothing that would work for him.

Chapter Eleven

This chapter tells how Josh and his old girlfriend Katie Chadwick decide to get back together and get married. Katie and her daughter Julie made Josh happy and kept him out of drugs for awhile. Josh and Katie were married November 10, 2004, and by December, Katie was pregnant. They bought a house in Fuquay-Varina not far from where Josh grew up.

Josh believed that after his suspension from baseball, he would still be able to play. However, in January, about a month after they learned about their expected child, it all went downhill for Josh. He relapsed and started drinking and using cocaine again. Also for the first time, drugs became a financial problem for Josh, and eventually he was on track to lose every cent of his money. Money became such a problem that on one day Josh sold Katie's wedding ring to a drug dealer. When Katie found out about the ring, she drove to meet with the dealer, and demanded it back so the dealer agreed. On August 22, 2005, Josh's daughter Sierra Hamilton was born.

Even with the new baby the problems still continued. On some days, Josh would go to pick up a can of dip and not come back for three days. He would go to a bar and get drunk and then do some cocaine. Katie would be very angry but would go to bring him home. She could not understand why her husband would want a life like this. On many occasions, Josh would overdose on cocaine and would have to make a trip to the emergency room. Many times he was in such bad shape, he felt like he might really die. However, because of his incredibly strong body, he didn't die. He said it was just by the grace of God that he didn't die.

Josh really missed Katie, Julie, and Sierra, but the drugs were taking over his life and he couldn't do anything to stop it. One night at a bar, Josh met a guy and his girlfriend, and he asked them if they knew where he could find some cocaine. Instead, they told him where they could take him to score some crack. Josh agreed to go, and they drove far away from town and were met by three black men named Murd, Leon, and Lester. Josh tried the crack, and in that instant, his life changed. He loved it even more than he liked cocaine.

At this point, money was becoming a major problem and Katie had to do something to stop it. Things were going terrible for Josh, and he even stopped eating. Katie tried to do anything she could to save their relationship, but nothing worked. Steve Reed, one of Josh's business managers and his dad agreed that his dad would try to keep control of Josh's finances. He became desperate to get a hold of money to buy more drugs. Josh's life continued to fall apart.